Sara Jane Lowry

Coaching and Consultation

5 Impostor Syndrome Types: Which one describes you?

by Leave a Comment

Strong Woman hanging off side of rock face swinging with sunset in background. Impostor Syndrome type.

To go along with the 30-day email program I’m doing on Impostor Syndrome, I want to help you to explore your own Impostor Syndrome type. Behind all impostor syndrome’s symptoms is the struggle to identify the difference between being competent and being perfect along with a fear of failure. In order to overcome the debilitating feelings that arise from impostor syndrome symptoms, you have to learn to adjust your habitual, self-limiting, self-critical thinking as to what standard to which you hold yourself. I hope you will take the time to begin to identify your own impostor syndrome type as traps of mind, and then see how to find your way out of that mindset. How you answer these questions tell you a lot about your impostor syndrome type. Ask yourself these questions and accept the first thing that comes to your mind:

  • I will know when I’m competent at ______ when ________________________________.
  • If I were really smart,____________________________________________________.
  • I should always ________________________________________________________.
  • If I were really creative, I would ____________________________________________.

The 5 types are:Graph of Impostor Syndrome Types

  1. The Perfectionist (most people fit here)

  2. The Expert

  3. The Soloist

  4. The Superwoman(man)

  5. The Great Mind (inventor/artist, etc.)

When you feel like an impostor, you have difficulty in identifying when you are competent. Unfortunately, your idea of what qualifies you as competent goes beyond the point of doing well. For you, being talented, knowledgeable, skilled, and creative isn’t good enough unless it has qualifiers such as: the most, exceptionally, best in class. Sadly, while the rest of us see you as highly competent and skillful, you can’t bring yourself to see the real truth. Please know this: you’ve set an insanely high bar for yourself, and it’s one you can’t consistently achieve which makes you crazy but is actually just being human. Perfection isn’t the same as excellence.

So here are the impostor syndrome types, and some mindset changes to overcome each of them:

Impostor Syndrome Type: The Perfectionist

I should deliver a perfect performance 100% of the time. My work must always be A+. Nothing less than perfect is acceptable. I hate to delegate because quality control suffers.

The problem with the perfectionist mindset is that no one can do this consistently, 100% of the time, and when you can’t do it, you feel ashamed and like you failed. You are likely to think that others hold you to this standard. And sadly, you often hold these standards for others in your home, or at work, where no one can possibly live up to your standards.  This is a difficult mindset to change, and experiencing anything less than perfection causes you to beat yourself up. Also, it might keep you from trying something new or difficult because you can’t do it perfectly.

New thoughts: I can’t wait for everything to be perfect. I have to just take action and correct as I go. I need to let myself move forward.  Sometimes good is good enough. I learn more when I make mistakes. 

Impostor Syndrome Type: The ExpertThe Impostor Type - The Expert

If I were really smart I would already know everything I need to know to do this. I can’t put myself out there (or start a business, or go after a promotion) until I have more education, training, and experience.

The expert mindset drives you to get as much knowledge or skills as possible. Women, in particular, suffer from this mindset, thinking there must be a certain threshold of knowledge and experience that are needed to be successful or considered competent and skilled. This type doesn’t believe in learning as you go. Often when jobs are posted, women won’t apply if they don’t feel skilled in one of the qualifications listed, whereas men tend to apply if they have only 3 of 6 of the qualifications listed. And in today’s world, people are becoming experts despite not having formal training in that area.

New Thoughts: There are many paths to expertise, especially through experiential learning. It’s okay to have in-depth knowledge in some areas and not in all. There is no end to learning, but I don’t have to wait until I’ve learned it all. When I don’t know all the answers, I can seek out others to fill the gaps. I am competent even when I don’t know it all.

Impostor Syndrome Type: The SoloistImpostor Syndrome Type: The Soloist

I believe that true competence is equal to my own, unassisted achievements. Therefore, I must do everything myself. I don’t believe I should need help in order to be considered competent. And only achievements I achieved on my own count.

If this resonates with your beliefs about being competent, you tend to view projects, accomplishments, or ideas that were derived in conjunction with someone else, as not being your own accomplishment.  And often, you are unwilling to ask for help even when the project is floundering or the sheer amount of work needed to make it succeed is killing you.  And women traditionally “don’t want to put someone else out” by asking for help on their journey toward trying to make a miracle happen.  Being competent means asking for the resources needed to get the job done. It means asking people who are smarter than you for advice on challenges you face. It also means being able to delegate as much as possible.

New Thoughts: I am being more competent when I ask for what I need to get the job done, and when I delegate to others. I welcome the advice from others who might know more about this than I do. I am able to learn from other competent people, and use that learning to build my own success.

Impostor Syndrome Type: The Superwoman(man)

If I were really competent, I would be able to do it all and do it perfectly.

The superwoman mindset is all about juggling all your roles perfectly.  It says you’re being competent not only on how well you do things but also how many things you can juggle at one time. In fact, this mindset combines the previous three mindsets into one, terrifying belief. We are all living over-extended lives, and women, in particular, tend to over-function on the homefront even while succeeding at work. The answer is simple, but so difficult: do less. Learn to delegate and to accept good enough.  And most of all?  Learn to say no.

New Thoughts: It’s okay to delegate and accept that others won’t do it just like me.  It’s okay to say no when I know I can’t do something, or at the very least, extend the deadline I set for myself.  I am going to follow the Pareto principle and focus on the 20%: the 80/20 rule suggests we should focus on the few, larger items that will generate the most significant results. I don’t have to operate at the top of my capacity in all areas of life at one time.

Impostor Syndrome Type: The Great Mind (inventor/artist, etc.)Woman lying on grass with Groucho Marx eyebrows, mustache, and glasses as representing impostor syndrome

I judge myself on ease and speed: If I were really competent, it would come quickly and easily.

This model of competency leaves no room for development. When you are unable to do something easily and quickly, you feel like an impostor. You tend to hold the bar high for yourself as you believe that you have an inherent ability and intelligence. If you do need to learn something new, development should be completely effortless.  Often you believe you should be further long on your journey to success.  Thus, if you start doing something new to you and have challenges achieving it, you immediately think something is wrong with you, rather than the short time frame you set for yourself. You value being an overnight success. When you face a setback, your confidence goes out the window. Thus, you often try to avoid taking a risk in case you fail. You see things in black and white: you’re either a genius or you’re not; you’re an artist or you’re not.

New mindset: Instead of seeing setbacks as failures, or challenges as ineptitude, I see them as opportunities to grow my competence and skill. Instead of thinking “I’m not qualified” I am going to instead tell myself that I’m inexperienced right now and expect I am capable of growing into this new role.” Efforts and patience along with time will help me succeed.

Recommendations

You may see yourself in one or more of these types. The good news is that you now have the ability to recognize your habits of thought that cause your feelings of impostor syndrome. Your work lies in identifying those thoughts and then countering them with one of the suggestions below your type.

Stop saying to yourself “it’s me.” Practice gaining trust in your ability to “wing it” a little bit. Begin to see that it is that lie to yourself that keeps you stuck in not recognizing your capable and skilled self despite any human doubts you hold.  If you need more support in understanding your impostor syndrome symptoms, please join the 30-day email guide by signing up today. Or, reach out for a coaching session. Please don’t stay in that old mindset!  You are smart, skillful, and competent – own it!

You can read another post related to imposter syndrome and women here.

Impostor Syndrome and Women – a club about faking it

by Leave a Comment

Woman lying on grass with Groucho Marx eyebrows, mustache, and glasses as representing impostor syndromeImpostor Syndrome and Women

If you feel like an impostor, tell me if any of this sounds like the way you talk about your success:

  • I was just in the right place at the right time
  • It’s just a matter of time before they find out I don’t really know how to do this work
  • I just work harder and longer than most I know
  • I just think they like my energy and passion
  • I don’t deserve this (title, award, position, salary)
  • I won’t charge too much because I won’t be able to get another client
  • I don’t want to post this on social media because someone won’t like it

I work with lots of women, and I would guess that on a deeper level, some version of these narratives will sound familiar to you. Impostor syndrome isn’t exclusive to women, but it affects them more due to social norms that have upheld old stereotypes about men’s work versus women’s work, often the bar is set higher in proving their capacity, the challenges of working in fields dominated by men, and very real bias in equal pay for equal work, etc.Deadpool costume as symbol of impostor

Unfortunately, all the inner talk is creating unnecessary psychological stress related to:

  • Earning less money which might limit you from doing what you want to do in your life
  • Unwillingness to find mentors and contacts who will help you achieve your goals
  • Not getting recognition and related income for your work
  • Holding back from new situations in which you make mistakes and grow
  • Settling for dead-end jobs that don’t really use your skills and passions

New habits and mindsets to offset those impostor thoughts

What opportunities will you miss out on if you don’t overcome your inner critic’s voice from owning your experience, success, ideas, and passion? Recognizing that inner voice’s false statements as separate from reality is a challenging change, but one that can be done.

  1. Create a “fact file” where you track your accomplishments, praise, testimonials and more. Include big and small things. Write down how you think you achieved them, and ask whether they are true.
  2. Begin to call that inner critic by another name – it thinks it’s protecting you, but it’s covering up low esteem. When you see those words coming in your mind – begin to recognize the trigger, call it by a name (like the fraud police) and counter it’s impostor argument with your fact file data.
  3. Yes, you may have ridden a tide of luck in some cases, however, my guess is that you also worked at building your network, collaborating, getting advice, and rode the wave with action and perseverance.
  4. Practice accepting compliments. By that I mean, look the person in the eye who just offered a compliment, and say thank you. Or “My hard work has really paid off, and I’m so happy with the results.”
  5. You are the one who needs to accept your successes. So, instead of waiting for someone to notice, invite someone to come out and help you celebrate whatever it is. Own your reality.Job interview and owning your power

You’ve spent too many days denying your brilliance and the credit you deserve. Stop attributing the factors of your success to something outside of yourself. It’s up to you to accept your success on a gut level, rather than a head level. Stop judging yourself. Understanding and undoing your self-limiting beliefs about how brilliant and competent you are isn’t a one-time event – it’s a journey of change.  You can start today by signing up for this month-long series of motivational prompts.

20 guiding habits to finding work you love

by Leave a Comment

chalkboard with words I love my work and my work loves me. The word heart is actually a symbol of a heart.20 guiding habits to finding work you love

Finding work you love is everyone’s ideal. Sadly, less than a third of Americans report doing work they love. I am fortunate to work with clients every day that are on a journey to a new future for themselves and their work. In fact, they are talking about a future that they find authentic and meaningful; not without challenges, but inspired and impactful. They are each growing in their careers or starting new businesses. They are changing careers or leading new companies. But there some similarities between their paths that they are learning, or have learned to live by in this journey.  I call them the guiding habits for creating or manifesting work you love.

20 guiding habits

  1. Think big.Have a big vision of what you intend to accomplish from the get-go. Get out of your head trash and go to the place that causes your hands to shake because it would be exciting and scary. Stop listening to the people who say you can’t.
  2. Don’t play small. When your vision isn’t big enough, you only accomplish the middle of the dream. Sometimes your idea of “realistic” is really code for not knowing how to get there, or a mindset that it’s not possible. Sure, you can stay there for a little while, but go back to #1 – inspire yourself.
  3. Fail big. Fail often. Fear of failure is a waste of time. I get it, failure stings. Actually, it’s not a failure when you learn from it. Better to do it soon though, before giving away your time, which isn’t a renewable resource. Remember your strengths. Most of all, take time to assess – but don’t stay there.
  4. Value your time more than money. So don’t waste your time on the 80% (Pareto’s 80/20 principle), or on networking without connecting the dots.
  5. Invest in yourself. Get a coach and a mentor. Sign up webinars and classes. Read every day. Because there’s not enough time to learn it all on your own.blank book opened to a page that says A little space to be creative
  6. Creativity is key to your success. Actually, it’s a mindset change. It requires putting yourself into a state of absorption, and fearlessness. Be a maverick. Get out of your ruts. Learn to rest and recharge.
  7. Focus on your strengths. You can spend a lot of time focused on trying to improve your weaknesses. If they are relational, work on them. Otherwise, outsource your weaknesses and the things you hate doing. Stop thinking no one can do it as well as you – delegate!
  8. Do uncomfortable things. If it’s comfortable, you know you’re not pushing enough. Sometimes setting goals is the first place to push yourself. A little discomfort leads to productivity.
  9. Speak up. If you don’t tell the world what you are doing or thinking, they won’t know about it. Contribute your observations or successes to your team, to your customers, and to your community.
  10. Get others to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This goes hand in hand with #11.
  11. Be vulnerable. Let people in. Since the state of being vulnerable can be an act of courage, this kind of risk-taking isn’t passive but instead, is actively being willing to put it out there in reaching for the greatest rewards as you define it.
  12. Promote yourself. Just do it a genuine way. Bring your whole self. Don’t wait to be seen. Write, comment, vlog.
  13. Your competitors are your role models. Study and learn from them. It’s where you will recognize not only how you’re different, but how they interact internally, externally, and ethically and how you interact.
  14. See yourself as a contributor in your field. Don’t exclude yourself because you are new or inexperienced. When you’re new, you see things with fresh eyes and fresh ideas.
  15. Take care of yourself. This is a long journey. You need healthy mind, body, and heart. Make your own self-care plan and stick to it. It’s not a badge of honor to be exhausted.
  16. Find a powerful support group.A mastermind. A small group of like-minded colleagues. Find people who will help you grow, make connections, truly see you, and keep you accountable.
  17. Find inspiration and guidance in those who have mastered what you are trying to accomplish. Reach out to them. Follow them on social media. Doing work you love is a journey of discovery.
  18. Share your expertise freely. Give more than you take. Don’t hoard information. Let people learn from you. The more you give, the more you receive – in relationships and inspiration.
  19. Pursue your passion for its fire, inventiveness and life force. Your inspiration is what gives you the fuel you need even in the dark days. Don’t let anyone dampen it.
  20. Nurture patience. Finding/doing work that you love is a process. No one is an overnight success. There will be down days. (see #3, #8)

Mindset and heart space

Remember that your mindset and attitudes underpin the whole journey to doing work you love.  Creation and manifestation are acts of courage. In making a transition, it’s not just understanding the past, but what you can change about it to move on. For many people, uncertainty can overwhelm: it can be difficult to see which path to take, in the midst of change or transition. So, stop going it alone. Ask for help. And bring your hesitancy, your disappointed, overwhelmed, or confused self on a new journey toward the life you deserve. When you allow yourself to deeply listen to yourself, you will gain clarity and passion for doing work you love.

Self-awareness — how well do you know yourself?

by Leave a Comment

Brown box with lid open stuffed with black and white photographs of relatives and a baby. Self-awareness begins with knowing your lifelong patternsSelf-awareness is critical to success. How well do you know yourself?

Stay with me here.

We are talking about something much greater and of higher consequence. I am asking about who you are at your core, what most matters to you, what makes you come alive, what feeds your soul and what drains your spirit, and how to know the difference so you choose well as you give your best energy, and commitment to something.

If you are lacking a lot of self-awareness, you may still live a life somewhat in alignment with who you are but only by accident or sheer stroke of luck. And you may be living a life that doesn’t fit. What if you could be certain that you live in alignment with who you are not by accident or luck, but rather on purpose, by intention, by design.

How? By getting improving your self-awareness and getting to know yourself really well. One way to do that is to learn your values, passions, and goals. Another is to ask the right questions. (More about that later.)

In my coaching practice, I’ve been working with people how to create better lives for themselves which in turn changes their work, their relationships, and their happiness. They have grown their “self-awareness” quotient and:

  • gotten clarity on their life’s purposeSign stating a list: live full, create happiness, speak kindly, hug daily, smile often, hope more, laugh freely, seek truth, inspire change, love deeply. Missing from the list is grow your self-awareness.
  • determined where they want to go in their career or business
  • boosted their incomes
  • deepened their relationships
  • connected with their gifts

Self-awareness and Mindset

I am so passionate about how we can create the right life for ourselves by first knowing who we are, and then creating the right mindset. So, your mind believes anything you tell it. Is it true? Let’s see.

What is it that you tell yourself all day long? You might be exceptional but most of us walk around saying relatively negative criticisms to ourselves or about ourselves.

Let’s say someone asks you whether you can run a marathon or you can give up dessert for a week. Usually, we hedge unless we’ve already done it. Sometimes the response is immediately I can’t.  I can’t learn that or do that. Or you hear yourself saying “I can’t take this anymore” but don’t take action. That phrase “I can’t” is part of our everyday dialogue and that is your message to your mind.

So, how well do you know yourself?

Your mind says “ I can’t do that well, so we’re not going to even bother because I know I can’t do that”. You’ve already woven a story that your mind believes. As you repeat this over time it becomes a fact to you. It becomes the truth whereas it’s really just something you’ve been telling yourself.

Some of you know that I used to be an opera singer in my early career life. At that time, I had a personal transformation in my singing journey that I still to this day cannot believe I am able to do because the story I had been telling myself was so powerful.

Singing the role of the Noemie, Stepsister of Cinderella in Massenet's Cendrillon, with my foot on the stool holding the glass sliipper
Singing Noemie in Massenet’s Cendrillon

I remember a voice teacher telling me that I would have to be able to sing notes higher than a high “C” (think Pavarotti’s high notes) if I wanted it to be a good one in performance.  Of course, when my voice was younger, that wasn’t too much of a problem. But as my voice and body matured, my voice was no longer light but instead had a richer, darker middle and lower note capacity which added “weight” to the sound. And it’s hard to take that weight up high.

Now, of course, I know that my body can do this but the first time it happened I had to convince my mind that I was capable of doing this. In reality, my body was already there. My teacher said your body has no limitations on doing this at this point in your singing journey but my mind had been keeping me from doing so because I have been telling myself the same story of “I can’t.” I was trying to sing it but my mind didn’t think I could do it. My mind wasn’t ready to change the outcome.

Knowing yourself and what the mind believes

So what is it that you’re telling yourself all day long that you cannot do, that you don’t know how to do, or what to do, or whatever other negative phrases that you’re using? How well do you know yourself?

Remember: your mind listens and believes you and then uses that as a fact to run your life in a misguided effort to protect you.

You can send it a different message.

You can choose to believe in a different story: a story of being a confident person who CAN make changes and choose differently, and seeing that there is a deeper truth than you’re believing about yourself.

Change your mind on how you see yourself and see how that will integrate into so many better results in your life. Start to question those beliefs. Get to really know yourself.

The opportunity has never been greater to…Neon sign saying Do Something Great which is possible when you have self-awareness

  • Show up as the people we have grown into becoming
  • Sustain thriving relationships
  • Discover and follow our highest calling
  • Create prosperous careers aligned with our values
  • Experience radiant health and vitality
  • Live in ways that are spiritually connected
  • Ignite and empower others to step forward into their greatness
  • Be catalysts and change agents shaping the future of our world

Happiness is when we have clarity of purpose, our work and relationships are meaningful, we have health and vitality, we feel connected to the Universe – in other words, we are in alignment. Sign up for the upcoming month-long email series where I send one question per day for you to explore how well you know yourself, and how you can choose to manifest your truest life.

If you take this journey, you will realize that: you are a unique human of this world. Are you brilliant, wise, and generous? Perhaps you are perceptive and fascinating. Know this: you are gifted and talented beyond your knowing. You are beyond capable to do what you dream. It starts with getting to know yourself and changing your mind.

The Right Mindset Is Everything

by Leave a Comment

Happy new year 2018!

At this time of year, some people have set their 2018 goals and are beginning to take steps toward them, while others may have already lapsed in staying focused on a new mindset, habit, or behavior.

Which brings me to the mindset of making things happen. 2017 was amazing for me, my business, my meditation journey, and my relationships with friends and with clients.

How did I make this happen? I ditched the goals and resolutions. Instead, I picked one word/phrase to guide me, and it changed the way I looked at everything. And that brought some real opportunities into my world.

Some of the things I did in 2017 from this new mindset:

  • Serving incredible clients and working only with people and businesses who inspire me and are doing amazing work in this world.Staff Development Day Training with teams learning how to collaborate
  • Having amazing conversations with fun, interesting people.
  • Worked Super Smart: Fewer hours, bigger impact, and better work & play balance.
  • Went to visit creative friends in other parts of the U.S.
  • Took better care of my mind, body, spirit such as developing new meditation habits that have had enormous benefits.
  • Grew my dedication to daily meditation and mindfulness practice with 30-45 minute a day practices, 5-6 days a week and teaching new clients how to start their own meditation practice.
  • Contributed and grew as part of two in-person, female mastermind groups.
  • Went to the Women’s Convention in Detroit and grew my perspectives.
  • Quote against turquoise background: "What is a belief? It's that feeling of certainty we get about what something means." Followed by Change your Beliefs, Change Your LifeFocused on my own personal mindset growth with the help of my private coach.
  • Raised my own self-awareness and focused on being more present with the people in my life.
  • AND began the outline of a book (stay tuned!).

The mindset I used

How did I accomplish the above and more? With the mindset of “say yes” to the opportunities presenting themselves, even if I felt scared, and a focus on feelings of joy. How did I make this mindset manifest?

  • By doing a LOT less of what used to waste my time and energy.
  • By doing an authentic reconciliation of what knowledge and skills I truly have, and then setting my fees to match the value of my work, which means understanding that value and speaking to it by:
  • having a mindset of serving and not selling.
  • doing things that scare me and staying outside my comfort zone.
  • allowing myself to feel vulnerable or down without attacking myself.
  • raising my awareness and preventing self-sabotaging patterns before they took hold.
  • learning that even though my focus was on “say yes” it also meant saying no to loads of “opportunities” so I could say YES to the real ones.
  • trusting myself and my choices even when they were not popular or “logical”.
  • speaking up more with truth and authenticity to clients, colleagues, and friends.
  • doing LESS and getting MORE done.
  • making more time for self-care.

Empowering mindset

None of these had anything to do with goals and resolutions which fall short when you are envisaging an incredible year for yourself, your career, or your organization. It is not enough to ‘set goals’ or ‘make resolutions’. You need a mindset of empowerment and a perspective of possibilities for yourself that then feeds all your decisions and actions. You need to see your situation differently before you can rise above it.  This is true within your organization which lives and dies on internal culture and colleagues who believe “we can change the world”.  It’s true of your sense of where you are in your career and how your work contributes to a better world, and it changes your personal life since you are the central ingredient on making it joyful.

Inner work

This is incredible and important inner work, which then impacts your outer reality. It’s the mindset you must have to successfully manifest an amazing year. It’s proven to help my clients see the biggest shift in their path, which for them, turns into new clients, new streams of income, and new joys in their business and their lives. And this is where I urge you to look for your greatest opportunities and satisfying possibilities in 2018.

If you want to change your outer reality, below are some ways to engage with me:

Sign up for this month’s free daily email campaign: Power of Thought: Manifest a Better Reality 

 

Or contact me for your own exploration session for one of the following items:

Ready Exit Blueprint: How would you feel if you could wake up every day to work on your own dream business instead of being stuck in a day job? Discover how to build your strategy to do what you love, quit your job & make a big impact on the world.

Acceleration Career Path: Do you want to feel valued at your job, get rewarded for all your hard work and get promoted to the next level? It starts with a creating a map of your career management success, one that will lead to raising your salary and loving your career.

Private Coaching with Sara Jane: If you want to accelerate your results and progress in your business, relationships, sales, fundraising, or revenue, and do it in a way that aligns with your core life values and brings you joy, then let’s have a conversation to see if we are a good fit for my private coaching program.

Make 2018 your best year ever!

Under Stress?

It feels like you are stuck in the same cycle of behavior or situations when you are under stress. Do you find yourself with the same negative emotions, challenges, and issues, unable to take the steps you need to change or move on? We’re all capable of making the same mistakes over and over, because, […]

Achieve your goals daily with these 3 things.

Are you achieving your goals every day? If not, then read on. The next 3 minutes will set your mind to creating a new day for yourself. If you are truly ready to attain your goals faster, by doing more in less time, then you need to plan your day and track your goals. Maybe you think you […]

Overcoming Overwhelm

You are here because you’re feeling overwhelmed, or burned out. What is the first solution everyone tells us: “time management.” Time Management or “overcoming overwhelm” is really about knowing your priorities. So, you’re feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps you think you have too many priorities. For instance, when was the last time you tracked how you are […]

How To Learn About Happiness In Only 10 Days.

Sure, we have all heard Oprah talk about her gratitude journal. About the power, happiness and well, gratitude, in doing one. I even tried to do one about 20 years ago myself. But, the joy didn’t come, and I didn’t stick with it. Since then, I had a friend give me a book for Christmas […]

Sara Jane on Instagram