Sara Jane Lowry

Coaching and Consultation

Let go and just be even in the midst of thunderstorms

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black and purple clouds of a thunderstorm with lightning flashing in the middle

Recently there have been severe thunderstorms and heavy rains that caused the power to go out for short and long hours of time. I was given an opportunity to experience an unusual amount of time to just be quiet: let go and just be.

At first, it was difficult. I tried to read but it was too dark. There was no hum of equipment. The silence was only interrupted by rain and thunder. After an hour, I found myself being able to “see” from a quiet place that my external self was struggling to let go and just be in the moment.

Our lives are full of lists, of rushing, about, of filling every moment with something. So what happens when the power goes out, and we can’t fill out time and space with doing?  We say we want peace of mind, relief from stress, relaxation but when given those things, we feel anxious and fidgety. We have lost the ability to just be.

Can you let go and just be?

How addicted are we to our phones and other media devices? Can we take a step back internally, and distance ourselves for a moment and ask – is this really living? Are we fully present to those around us? Or even to ourselves? It’s a crazy addiction to respond to every beep and every interruption.  We are constantly in response mode or consumer of information mode. Is this truly living?

I have a few coaching clients that even during a session can hardly keep themselves from checking their phones.  Even as they are working to transform something about their lives – they cannot resist. But when would that transformation happen in relation to the constant interruptions to which they are compelled to respond?

So, today, just try and take a few moments to reach for clarity, to stop self-sabotaging your life and goals, to create instead of responding, to breathe instead of doing, and just be. You might discover a new you and a new peace of mind.

If you want, you can read more about choosing mindfulness versus lists here.  Another wonderful in-depth resource is The Art of Mindfulness: why mindfulness matters.

Or if you want to let go and just be, try listening to some thunder and rain by clicking here.

A sofa is next to a side table with a book and decorative flowers holding space to just be

20 guiding habits to finding work you love

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chalkboard with words I love my work and my work loves me. The word heart is actually a symbol of a heart.20 guiding habits to finding work you love

Finding work you love is everyone’s ideal. Sadly, less than a third of Americans report doing work they love. I am fortunate to work with clients every day that are on a journey to a new future for themselves and their work. In fact, they are talking about a future that they find authentic and meaningful; not without challenges, but inspired and impactful. They are each growing in their careers or starting new businesses. They are changing careers or leading new companies. But there some similarities between their paths that they are learning, or have learned to live by in this journey.  I call them the guiding habits for creating or manifesting work you love.

20 guiding habits

  1. Think big.Have a big vision of what you intend to accomplish from the get-go. Get out of your head trash and go to the place that causes your hands to shake because it would be exciting and scary. Stop listening to the people who say you can’t.
  2. Don’t play small. When your vision isn’t big enough, you only accomplish the middle of the dream. Sometimes your idea of “realistic” is really code for not knowing how to get there, or a mindset that it’s not possible. Sure, you can stay there for a little while, but go back to #1 – inspire yourself.
  3. Fail big. Fail often. Fear of failure is a waste of time. I get it, failure stings. Actually, it’s not a failure when you learn from it. Better to do it soon though, before giving away your time, which isn’t a renewable resource. Remember your strengths. Most of all, take time to assess – but don’t stay there.
  4. Value your time more than money. So don’t waste your time on the 80% (Pareto’s 80/20 principle), or on networking without connecting the dots.
  5. Invest in yourself. Get a coach and a mentor. Sign up webinars and classes. Read every day. Because there’s not enough time to learn it all on your own.blank book opened to a page that says A little space to be creative
  6. Creativity is key to your success. Actually, it’s a mindset change. It requires putting yourself into a state of absorption, and fearlessness. Be a maverick. Get out of your ruts. Learn to rest and recharge.
  7. Focus on your strengths. You can spend a lot of time focused on trying to improve your weaknesses. If they are relational, work on them. Otherwise, outsource your weaknesses and the things you hate doing. Stop thinking no one can do it as well as you – delegate!
  8. Do uncomfortable things. If it’s comfortable, you know you’re not pushing enough. Sometimes setting goals is the first place to push yourself. A little discomfort leads to productivity.
  9. Speak up. If you don’t tell the world what you are doing or thinking, they won’t know about it. Contribute your observations or successes to your team, to your customers, and to your community.
  10. Get others to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This goes hand in hand with #11.
  11. Be vulnerable. Let people in. Since the state of being vulnerable can be an act of courage, this kind of risk-taking isn’t passive but instead, is actively being willing to put it out there in reaching for the greatest rewards as you define it.
  12. Promote yourself. Just do it a genuine way. Bring your whole self. Don’t wait to be seen. Write, comment, vlog.
  13. Your competitors are your role models. Study and learn from them. It’s where you will recognize not only how you’re different, but how they interact internally, externally, and ethically and how you interact.
  14. See yourself as a contributor in your field. Don’t exclude yourself because you are new or inexperienced. When you’re new, you see things with fresh eyes and fresh ideas.
  15. Take care of yourself. This is a long journey. You need healthy mind, body, and heart. Make your own self-care plan and stick to it. It’s not a badge of honor to be exhausted.
  16. Find a powerful support group.A mastermind. A small group of like-minded colleagues. Find people who will help you grow, make connections, truly see you, and keep you accountable.
  17. Find inspiration and guidance in those who have mastered what you are trying to accomplish. Reach out to them. Follow them on social media. Doing work you love is a journey of discovery.
  18. Share your expertise freely. Give more than you take. Don’t hoard information. Let people learn from you. The more you give, the more you receive – in relationships and inspiration.
  19. Pursue your passion for its fire, inventiveness and life force. Your inspiration is what gives you the fuel you need even in the dark days. Don’t let anyone dampen it.
  20. Nurture patience. Finding/doing work that you love is a process. No one is an overnight success. There will be down days. (see #3, #8)

Mindset and heart space

Remember that your mindset and attitudes underpin the whole journey to doing work you love.  Creation and manifestation are acts of courage. In making a transition, it’s not just understanding the past, but what you can change about it to move on. For many people, uncertainty can overwhelm: it can be difficult to see which path to take, in the midst of change or transition. So, stop going it alone. Ask for help. And bring your hesitancy, your disappointed, overwhelmed, or confused self on a new journey toward the life you deserve. When you allow yourself to deeply listen to yourself, you will gain clarity and passion for doing work you love.

Self-awareness — how well do you know yourself?

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Brown box with lid open stuffed with black and white photographs of relatives and a baby. Self-awareness begins with knowing your lifelong patternsSelf-awareness is critical to success. How well do you know yourself?

Stay with me here.

We are talking about something much greater and of higher consequence. I am asking about who you are at your core, what most matters to you, what makes you come alive, what feeds your soul and what drains your spirit, and how to know the difference so you choose well as you give your best energy, and commitment to something.

If you are lacking a lot of self-awareness, you may still live a life somewhat in alignment with who you are but only by accident or sheer stroke of luck. And you may be living a life that doesn’t fit. What if you could be certain that you live in alignment with who you are not by accident or luck, but rather on purpose, by intention, by design.

How? By getting improving your self-awareness and getting to know yourself really well. One way to do that is to learn your values, passions, and goals. Another is to ask the right questions. (More about that later.)

In my coaching practice, I’ve been working with people how to create better lives for themselves which in turn changes their work, their relationships, and their happiness. They have grown their “self-awareness” quotient and:

  • gotten clarity on their life’s purposeSign stating a list: live full, create happiness, speak kindly, hug daily, smile often, hope more, laugh freely, seek truth, inspire change, love deeply. Missing from the list is grow your self-awareness.
  • determined where they want to go in their career or business
  • boosted their incomes
  • deepened their relationships
  • connected with their gifts

Self-awareness and Mindset

I am so passionate about how we can create the right life for ourselves by first knowing who we are, and then creating the right mindset. So, your mind believes anything you tell it. Is it true? Let’s see.

What is it that you tell yourself all day long? You might be exceptional but most of us walk around saying relatively negative criticisms to ourselves or about ourselves.

Let’s say someone asks you whether you can run a marathon or you can give up dessert for a week. Usually, we hedge unless we’ve already done it. Sometimes the response is immediately I can’t.  I can’t learn that or do that. Or you hear yourself saying “I can’t take this anymore” but don’t take action. That phrase “I can’t” is part of our everyday dialogue and that is your message to your mind.

So, how well do you know yourself?

Your mind says “ I can’t do that well, so we’re not going to even bother because I know I can’t do that”. You’ve already woven a story that your mind believes. As you repeat this over time it becomes a fact to you. It becomes the truth whereas it’s really just something you’ve been telling yourself.

Some of you know that I used to be an opera singer in my early career life. At that time, I had a personal transformation in my singing journey that I still to this day cannot believe I am able to do because the story I had been telling myself was so powerful.

Singing the role of the Noemie, Stepsister of Cinderella in Massenet's Cendrillon, with my foot on the stool holding the glass sliipper
Singing Noemie in Massenet’s Cendrillon

I remember a voice teacher telling me that I would have to be able to sing notes higher than a high “C” (think Pavarotti’s high notes) if I wanted it to be a good one in performance.  Of course, when my voice was younger, that wasn’t too much of a problem. But as my voice and body matured, my voice was no longer light but instead had a richer, darker middle and lower note capacity which added “weight” to the sound. And it’s hard to take that weight up high.

Now, of course, I know that my body can do this but the first time it happened I had to convince my mind that I was capable of doing this. In reality, my body was already there. My teacher said your body has no limitations on doing this at this point in your singing journey but my mind had been keeping me from doing so because I have been telling myself the same story of “I can’t.” I was trying to sing it but my mind didn’t think I could do it. My mind wasn’t ready to change the outcome.

Knowing yourself and what the mind believes

So what is it that you’re telling yourself all day long that you cannot do, that you don’t know how to do, or what to do, or whatever other negative phrases that you’re using? How well do you know yourself?

Remember: your mind listens and believes you and then uses that as a fact to run your life in a misguided effort to protect you.

You can send it a different message.

You can choose to believe in a different story: a story of being a confident person who CAN make changes and choose differently, and seeing that there is a deeper truth than you’re believing about yourself.

Change your mind on how you see yourself and see how that will integrate into so many better results in your life. Start to question those beliefs. Get to really know yourself.

The opportunity has never been greater to…Neon sign saying Do Something Great which is possible when you have self-awareness

  • Show up as the people we have grown into becoming
  • Sustain thriving relationships
  • Discover and follow our highest calling
  • Create prosperous careers aligned with our values
  • Experience radiant health and vitality
  • Live in ways that are spiritually connected
  • Ignite and empower others to step forward into their greatness
  • Be catalysts and change agents shaping the future of our world

Happiness is when we have clarity of purpose, our work and relationships are meaningful, we have health and vitality, we feel connected to the Universe – in other words, we are in alignment. Sign up for the upcoming month-long email series where I send one question per day for you to explore how well you know yourself, and how you can choose to manifest your truest life.

If you take this journey, you will realize that: you are a unique human of this world. Are you brilliant, wise, and generous? Perhaps you are perceptive and fascinating. Know this: you are gifted and talented beyond your knowing. You are beyond capable to do what you dream. It starts with getting to know yourself and changing your mind.

The Right Mindset Is Everything

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Happy new year 2018!

At this time of year, some people have set their 2018 goals and are beginning to take steps toward them, while others may have already lapsed in staying focused on a new mindset, habit, or behavior.

Which brings me to the mindset of making things happen. 2017 was amazing for me, my business, my meditation journey, and my relationships with friends and with clients.

How did I make this happen? I ditched the goals and resolutions. Instead, I picked one word/phrase to guide me, and it changed the way I looked at everything. And that brought some real opportunities into my world.

Some of the things I did in 2017 from this new mindset:

  • Serving incredible clients and working only with people and businesses who inspire me and are doing amazing work in this world.Staff Development Day Training with teams learning how to collaborate
  • Having amazing conversations with fun, interesting people.
  • Worked Super Smart: Fewer hours, bigger impact, and better work & play balance.
  • Went to visit creative friends in other parts of the U.S.
  • Took better care of my mind, body, spirit such as developing new meditation habits that have had enormous benefits.
  • Grew my dedication to daily meditation and mindfulness practice with 30-45 minute a day practices, 5-6 days a week and teaching new clients how to start their own meditation practice.
  • Contributed and grew as part of two in-person, female mastermind groups.
  • Went to the Women’s Convention in Detroit and grew my perspectives.
  • Quote against turquoise background: "What is a belief? It's that feeling of certainty we get about what something means." Followed by Change your Beliefs, Change Your LifeFocused on my own personal mindset growth with the help of my private coach.
  • Raised my own self-awareness and focused on being more present with the people in my life.
  • AND began the outline of a book (stay tuned!).

The mindset I used

How did I accomplish the above and more? With the mindset of “say yes” to the opportunities presenting themselves, even if I felt scared, and a focus on feelings of joy. How did I make this mindset manifest?

  • By doing a LOT less of what used to waste my time and energy.
  • By doing an authentic reconciliation of what knowledge and skills I truly have, and then setting my fees to match the value of my work, which means understanding that value and speaking to it by:
  • having a mindset of serving and not selling.
  • doing things that scare me and staying outside my comfort zone.
  • allowing myself to feel vulnerable or down without attacking myself.
  • raising my awareness and preventing self-sabotaging patterns before they took hold.
  • learning that even though my focus was on “say yes” it also meant saying no to loads of “opportunities” so I could say YES to the real ones.
  • trusting myself and my choices even when they were not popular or “logical”.
  • speaking up more with truth and authenticity to clients, colleagues, and friends.
  • doing LESS and getting MORE done.
  • making more time for self-care.

Empowering mindset

None of these had anything to do with goals and resolutions which fall short when you are envisaging an incredible year for yourself, your career, or your organization. It is not enough to ‘set goals’ or ‘make resolutions’. You need a mindset of empowerment and a perspective of possibilities for yourself that then feeds all your decisions and actions. You need to see your situation differently before you can rise above it.  This is true within your organization which lives and dies on internal culture and colleagues who believe “we can change the world”.  It’s true of your sense of where you are in your career and how your work contributes to a better world, and it changes your personal life since you are the central ingredient on making it joyful.

Inner work

This is incredible and important inner work, which then impacts your outer reality. It’s the mindset you must have to successfully manifest an amazing year. It’s proven to help my clients see the biggest shift in their path, which for them, turns into new clients, new streams of income, and new joys in their business and their lives. And this is where I urge you to look for your greatest opportunities and satisfying possibilities in 2018.

If you want to change your outer reality, below are some ways to engage with me:

Sign up for this month’s free daily email campaign: Power of Thought: Manifest a Better Reality 

 

Or contact me for your own exploration session for one of the following items:

Ready Exit Blueprint: How would you feel if you could wake up every day to work on your own dream business instead of being stuck in a day job? Discover how to build your strategy to do what you love, quit your job & make a big impact on the world.

Acceleration Career Path: Do you want to feel valued at your job, get rewarded for all your hard work and get promoted to the next level? It starts with a creating a map of your career management success, one that will lead to raising your salary and loving your career.

Private Coaching with Sara Jane: If you want to accelerate your results and progress in your business, relationships, sales, fundraising, or revenue, and do it in a way that aligns with your core life values and brings you joy, then let’s have a conversation to see if we are a good fit for my private coaching program.

Make 2018 your best year ever!

Power of Thought – Manifest a Better Reality

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looking at sky up through the middle of 4 walls of a building indicating the power of thought to change your realityPower of Thought – Manifest a Better Reality

Power of Thought – Manifest a Better Reality is the name of a new series I am offering starting in January. Thoughts are incredibly powerful, affecting us whether they are conscious or not. They can help or hinder how we live our lives in a way that makes us happy. Sometimes we attach negative thoughts and reactions to our current reality that make us anxious and depressed. And our inner critic uses them against us.

Where you are in your life is never who you are.  It’s more a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs, priorities that you haven’t acknowledged, or unmade choices.

So, stop explaining and justifying where you are and how you got here. That’s focusing on the past. All you need to know at this point is where you’re starting from at this moment:

  • Is the life you are living something you’re not wild about?
  • Do you feel like you’re going around in circles with nothing you’re doing gaining any traction?
  • Do you find yourself constantly looking for something better than what you have right now?

Your thoughts create your feelings.picture of rain and a leaf on the road showing the power of thought when we get anxious or depressed

There are thoughts and perceptions you have of your life that are negative or self-critical.  Thoughts like these are quietly snaking across your mind automatically, with no effort on your part. And, they have a huge impact on how you are feeling. You think these thoughts are real, and therefore, the feelings that accompany them are real. But they are often just habitual ways of thought that set up an emotional reaction that’s negative.

Yes, bad things do happen and life can really hammer us at times. Yes, people can be cruel and thoughtless too. We can’t change those things, but we can change how we think about them. We can change our hidden beliefs and self-values too.  And when you change your thinking, you change your happiness, your outlook on life, and your journey.

Start right now with a new attitude

The power of thought is in learning to recognize the negative ones and change them.  Your journey to manifesting a better reality starts with living and doing your best where you are right now. And that starts with your attitude. Your attitude of gratitude for what you currently have, seeing it as a stepping stone on your journey, and making the best of your current situation.  It means giving it your full attention. This is when new opportunities start to present themselves. Most of my readers know I’m a huge advocate of daily meditation which can also improve your moods and mental states.

What you think, say, and do are the pivot points that can change your life and help you manifest a better reality. Those old ways of thinking, or talking about yourself or to yourself, or acting in self-destructive ways misaligned with the person you value, don’t serve you now.

Automatic thinkingdistorted figure through glass showing the power of thought when it is distorted thinking

Cognitive distortions (the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy) affect most of us. If you struggle with black and white thinking, jumping to negative conclusions, catastrophizing, perfectionism, labeling yourself negatively, and rejecting positive experiences, you can learn to become aware of those automatic and powerful patterns and change them as they happen.

One secret to happiness to set modest goals and accomplish them.

  • If you are a perfectionist (which is really fear-based) on how your goals are accomplished, or you procrastinate in going after them, you will increase your misery quotient.
  • It requires a mental strength to not give in to your habitual patterns. So, changing that pattern begins with self-respect.
  • The power of thought gets flipped when you start analyzing what you gain or lose by having a habitual thought. When you give up perfectionism and procrastination, or not acting on something where you don’t know the outcome in advance, you gain a chance to manifest a new reality.
  • If you want to change your inner critic, begin writing down what it says and when, and write a different thought. Practice telling that inner voice no or stop!

How does the power of thought work?red sign saying No indicating the power of thought when you can't say no

I work with a lot of women who find themselves doing more and more because they have difficulty saying “no” even when they’re asked to do something that isn’t in their best interest. Your hidden belief might be “I must always do what people ask me to do” because (1) it makes me feel needed, or (2) they won’t like me if I say “no”; or (3) I don’t have to worry about someone being upset with me; or (4) doing what people expect of me makes me feel in control.

But you don’t look at what you lose by doing that: (1) that you compromise your time to do something you really don’t want to do; (2) you never know if someone really just likes you for who you are; (3) you give others power over you in avoiding the threat of disappointment; and (4) you never have to figure out what you really want because you are always working to please others.

Changing this personal belief system requires that you write a new belief such as: “I enjoy when someone approves of me but I don’t need it to make choices that fit my own goals and enhance my self-respect.”

Join me on a journey of powerful thought recognition and creating a new reality

If you want to live 2018 differently, you need to start with changing your thoughts. Join me on a month-long daily thought-journey to help you identify what types of negative thoughts you are caught in, and begin a new path to manifesting a new reality for yourself. Sign up today!

 

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