Clarity–the weapon against crisis

September 3, 2018 by Sara Jane Lowry

Clarity is the answer to many of your problems.

Clarity of clear water with rocks and tiny hatchlings

I find that people only change for two reasons, through crisis or education.

Get some clarity about what you are trying to do and education that helps you to grow, or gain skills. They will help you avoid the unwanted change that comes because of a crisis. Clear visions help you take right and affirmative decisions. They ease your task of choice making.

Don’t wait until you get smacked in the face to make a change.

When I decided to leave being an opera singer and got clear that I wanted to work in business, I had to figure out how I was going to gain entry to a whole new career. I was fortunate to get a job at a corporation. I used the skills I had developed as a performer plus I took some classes in computing. As I got clear, I began to see my life transform. I identified what was important to me. I started making decisions on purpose to build my career.

But when that company went bankrupt a few years later, I had to to get clarity again. How could I use those skills, plus learn new ones to build a career in the nonprofit world? Learning about how people make decisions in terms of philanthropy shifted the way I thought. It shifted the way I approached life. It taught me how to be purposeful in where I put my resources of time, energy and money.

Each day since then has been both full and fulfilling.

It is never too late, or too early, to get clarity. Then gain skills and knowledge and act with more focus, more purpose. Just decide that you want to make a change and then get clarity about what you want to do. This article on Medium speaks to the role of clarity in success.

Remember, you can change now because there is a more meaningful way to work and live. Or, change later because you are forced to change through crisis. Please don’t wait for the crisis.

If you want some help in gaining that clarity, let’s talk. A coach can help by asking the questions to find an answer within. Sign up for an appointment today, don’t wait.

Let go and just be even in the midst of thunderstorms

July 6, 2018 by Sara Jane Lowry

Recently there have been severe thunderstorms and heavy rains that caused the power to go out for short and long hours of time. I was given an opportunity to experience an unusual amount of time to just be quiet: let go and just be.

At first, it was difficult. I tried to read but it was too dark. There was no hum of equipment. The silence was only interrupted by rain and thunder. After an hour, I found myself being able to “see” from a quiet place that my external self was struggling to let go and just be in the moment.

Our lives are full of lists, of rushing, about, of filling every moment with something. So what happens when the power goes out, and we can’t fill out time and space with doing? We say we want peace of mind, relief from stress, relaxation but when given those things, we feel anxious and fidgety. We have lost the ability to just be.

Can you let go and just be?

How addicted are we to our phones and other media devices? Can we take a step back internally, and distance ourselves for a moment and ask – is this really living? Are we fully present to those around us? Or even to ourselves? It’s a crazy addiction to respond to every beep and every interruption. We are constantly in response mode or consumer of information mode. Is this truly living?

I have a few coaching clients that even during a session can hardly keep themselves from checking their phones. Even as they are working to transform something about their lives – they cannot resist. But when would that transformation happen in relation to the constant interruptions to which they are compelled to respond?

So, today, just try and take a few moments to reach for clarity, to stop self-sabotaging your life and goals, to create instead of responding, to breathe instead of doing, and just be. You might discover a new you and a new peace of mind.

If you want, you can read more about choosing mindfulness versus lists here. Another wonderful in-depth resource is The Art of Mindfulness: why mindfulness matters.

Or if you want to let go and just be, try listening to some thunder and rain by clicking here.

Self-awareness — how well do you know yourself?

January 22, 2018 by Sara Jane Lowry

Brown box with lid open stuffed with black and white photographs of relatives and a baby. Self-awareness begins with knowing your lifelong patterns Self-awareness is critical to success. How well do you know yourself?

Stay with me here.

We are talking about something much greater and of higher consequence. I am asking about who you are at your core, what most matters to you, what makes you come alive, what feeds your soul and what drains your spirit, and how to know the difference so you choose well as you give your best energy, and commitment to something.

If you are lacking a lot of self-awareness, you may still live a life somewhat in alignment with who you are but only by accident or sheer stroke of luck. And you may be living a life that doesn’t fit. What if you could be certain that you live in alignment with who you are not by accident or luck, but rather on purpose, by intention, by design.

How? By getting improving your self-awareness and getting to know yourself really well. One way to do that is to learn your values, passions, and goals. Another is to ask the right questions. (More about that later.)

In my coaching practice, I’ve been working with people how to create better lives for themselves which in turn changes their work, their relationships, and their happiness. They have grown their “self-awareness” quotient and:

gotten clarity on their life’s purpose

determined where they want to go in their career or business

boosted their incomes

deepened their relationships

connected with their gifts

Self-awareness and Mindset

I am so passionate about how we can create the right life for ourselves by first knowing who we are, and then creating the right mindset. So, your mind believes anything you tell it. Is it true? Let’s see.

What is it that you tell yourself all day long? You might be exceptional but most of us walk around saying relatively negative criticisms to ourselves or about ourselves.

Let’s say someone asks you whether you can run a marathon or you can give up dessert for a week. Usually, we hedge unless we’ve already done it. Sometimes the response is immediately I can’t. I can’t learn that or do that. Or you hear yourself saying “I can’t take this anymore” but don’t take action. That phrase “I can’t” is part of our everyday dialogue and that is your message to your mind.

So, how well do you know yourself?

Your mind says “ I can’t do that well, so we’re not going to even bother because I know I can’t do that”. You’ve already woven a story that your mind believes. As you repeat this over time it becomes a fact to you. It becomes the truth whereas it’s really just something you’ve been telling yourself.

Some of you know that I used to be an opera singer in my early career life. At that time, I had a personal transformation in my singing journey that I still to this day cannot believe I am able to do because the story I had been telling myself was so powerful.

Singing the role of the Noemie, Stepsister of Cinderella in Massenet's Cendrillon, with my foot on the stool holding the glass sliipper — Singing Noemie in Massenet’s Cendrillon

I remember a voice teacher telling me that I would have to be able to sing notes higher than a high “C” (think Pavarotti’s high notes) if I wanted it to be a good one in performance. Of course, when my voice was younger, that wasn’t too much of a problem. But as my voice and body matured, my voice was no longer light but instead had a richer, darker middle and lower note capacity which added “weight” to the sound. And it’s hard to take that weight up high.

Now, of course, I know that my body can do this but the first time it happened I had to convince my mind that I was capable of doing this. In reality, my body was already there. My teacher said your body has no limitations on doing this at this point in your singing journey but my mind had been keeping me from doing so because I have been telling myself the same story of “I can’t.” I was trying to sing it but my mind didn’t think I could do it. My mind wasn’t ready to change the outcome.

Knowing yourself and what the mind believes

So what is it that you’re telling yourself all day long that you cannot do, that you don’t know how to do, or what to do, or whatever other negative phrases that you’re using? How well do you know yourself?

Remember: your mind listens and believes you and then uses that as a fact to run your life in a misguided effort to protect you.

You can send it a different message.

You can choose to believe in a different story: a story of being a confident person who CAN make changes and choose differently, and seeing that there is a deeper truth than you’re believing about yourself.

Change your mind on how you see yourself and see how that will integrate into so many better results in your life. Start to question those beliefs. Get to really know yourself.

The opportunity has never been greater to… Neon sign saying Do Something Great which is possible when you have self-awareness

Show up as the people we have grown into becoming

Sustain thriving relationships

Discover and follow our highest calling

Create prosperous careers aligned with our values

Experience radiant health and vitality

Live in ways that are spiritually connected

Ignite and empower others to step forward into their greatness

Be catalysts and change agents shaping the future of our world

Happiness is when we have clarity of purpose, our work and relationships are meaningful, we have health and vitality, we feel connected to the Universe – in other words, we are in alignment.

If you take this journey, you will realize that: you are a unique human of this world. Are you brilliant, wise, and generous? Perhaps you are perceptive and fascinating. Know this: you are gifted and talented beyond your knowing. You are beyond capable to do what you dream. It starts with getting to know yourself and changing your mind.

8 steps to finding your purpose

December 1, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry

hand holding pine cone in front of a forest of pine trees with words 8 steps to finding your purpose

8 Steps to Finding Your Purpose

Some of my clients come to me because they want to find their purpose. They may have lost their passion, or maybe they’ve always been searching for their life’s purpose. I too had a hard time figuring out what my purpose in life is, and I’ve tried many paths. So, I am sharing this in the hopes that it helps you in your own search.

Moving towards a purposeful life might sound complicated. But it doesn’t have to be. We all think it’s supposed to be a major “aha” moment, and that it should immediately be clear to us. But that’s not often the case. It can often be a slow journey and exploration, a purpose that you work into and builds in your life over time.

To help you, here are 8 steps to finding your purpose:

Pay attention to curiosity

Curiosity is extremely powerful. It doesn’t demand action, it invites it. It’s not stressful or demanding, it’s easy to follow. And it can lead you toward your life purpose — it’s magical in that way. So, stop looking for your passion. Instead, follow your curiosity.

Envision a compelling future

Right now, stop for a minute and close your eyes. How do you want your life to look like 3 years from now? As you envision it, really feel it inside as you ask yourself some questions like these: envisioning your future symbolized by looking upward in a grove of trees with sunlight highlighting their tops

How are you spending your days?
Where are you living?
Who are you spending time with?
What kind of energy do you have?

Envisioning your future is a key ingredient in finding your purpose in life. If we know where we’re going, it’s easier to know what to focus on and why it matters. I also ask clients to consider what qualities they most enjoy expressing, and in what ways they enjoy expressing them.

Know your “why’s”

Of the 8 steps to finding your purpose in life, this is probably most important. green fern unfurling symbolizing know your whys

Life isn’t just about what you do. Or how you do it. It’s about why you do it, the purpose of it. Simon Sinek wrote a book on the importance of why as well as gave a TEDx talk about how it’s important to leadership, to your values, to your impact on others. Why do you do what you do now? Do you have one or several “why’s” connecting to it? And are the “whys” something you chose at one point that no longer has meaning or purpose to you? What about your choices? Are they more about pleasing others? How are you spending your time? Do you know your “why”? Why gives you meaning and purpose.

Find your own mission for your purposeful life

My mission is to creatively inspire and support others through a journey of courageous choices and changes toward living an authentic life. I’ve made that my mission because I know the pain, stress, and frustration that comes with living a life that feels empty or false and not your own. And I know that it takes courage to change. Having a mission greater than yourself brings focus and purpose. It’s something to return to when things get tough or when fears get the best of you.

Begin with the end in mind. What would you like to serve others with? What pain have you experienced, or great joy that excites you? These are clues to your purpose.

Start today, take a step

I know what it is to keep putting off my authentic life. Some people wait until their kids are grown or they’re ready for retirement. Thus, it’s a “waiting for ‘some day’ in the future” when everything will magically fall into place. Then, you’ll be ready to take action. But, that day never comes unless you make the decision for it to come. Finding your purpose, and then living it starts with a decision. And a first step.

Stop waiting for better times or circumstances.

Things will never be ideal. And, you’ll always be able to point at something to say “that’s why I never did it”. Why things won’t work will always there, but so will the reasons why it will. Anxiety or fear sometimes masks itself as “reasons why.”

So, start taking steps, no matter how small, in the right direction today. Be consistent – it’s more important than distance.

Focus on one thing at a time

Finding and living your purpose is a journey of many steps. How can you build these steps into your life now? Start with one thing. If you try to make too many changes at once you may become overwhelmed and confused and burn yourself up. Rather than trying to do it all at once, become aware of your limitations. Move into it gradually. Do ONE thing at the time and dedicate time, energy and commitment to it.

Say “no”

Learning to say “no” is a skill taught in productivity webinars and books. There are a lot of ways you are probably good at prioritizing everything BUT what you want because it’s difficult to make changes, or because you “don’t want to offend” someone. But people who successfully move into what they see as their purpose had to learn to say “no” to the things (or people) who no longer fit that deeper purpose.

To create a purposeful life, you need to make time for the things that bring purpose and meaning. And in that process, you need to say “no” things that aren’t aligned with that.

Obstacles are bound to come your way

Today, most obstacles are internal. Obstacles can show up in your life in the form of fears, beliefs, people, or situations. You might see obstacles as proof that what they were planning to do isn’t working. But actually, successful people have learned the discipline of turning obstacles into opportunities. It starts with: snail stretched out crossing open gap between two rocks

perception (how we decide to see and understand what occurs around us, and what we decide it will mean;
action (dismantling the obstacle step by step with courage and creativity); and
will (invoking our power to push through challenging times with flexibility and resilience

This is where we get tested, and where we must know our “why” in order to be open to new insights, and course correcting to get to our desired goal.

You are now on the threshold of moving into an authentic life.

You may have been allowing your stories of how you got to where you are today to affect your choices and behaviors. It can be difficult to find meaningful patterns within the complexity that is your life. Your life isn’t a problem to be solved. Your purpose is present even now in all that complexity. We can wait to figure out our purpose, for what we want, or go out and create it. The choice is yours.

If you need someone to help hold space for you as you take on this journey, please reach out for a consult.

What does mindfulness have to do with success?

April 30, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry

multitasking is not mindful

Mindfulness is key to success – busyness is not

Today I talked with a small group of women entrepreneurs about the importance of mindfulness in their day. One of the women described her day. It includes running from phone call to a meeting to picking up kids. Followed by making dinner, answering emails to creating a presentation. Her day consists of checking off tasks and activities as she went as she juggles a burgeoning business and a young family. She shared that emotionally she feels drained and overwhelmed. And yet, every day she thinks she was being successful: “I am accomplishing a great deal and something useful seems to be getting done, and I am getting lots of positive press for my business.”

Is this how you measure success?

We spent some time in practicing some mindfulness pauses. She revealed that she was equating a busy schedule and positive reviews with a happy life. She began to notice that she was never fully present in any momen mindfulness begins the day t or activity, already skipping ahead mentally to the next thing. “I’m simply going from meeting to activity on my daily schedule,” she said, “but I’m not really there.” I’m driving my kids while thinking about my last meeting, and looking at a paper for my next conversation. I never have enough time to focus on the next innovation needed in my business. Then it’s time to put the kids to bed, and stay up till midnight responding to emails and preparing my presentation that’s in two days. I fall into bed at night just to wake up the next morning and start all over. I’m exhausted.”

By recognizing how much time we spend in a mental state known as continuous partial attention, we deprive ourselves of fully living. We feel anxious about more complex situations as we don’t take the time to give it our full attention. We seem to expect ourselves to multitask, efficiently answering emails while on a conference call. Sound familiar?

Ghosting, the opposite of mindfulness

I call this ‘ghosting,’ where one’s form appears to be solidly present but the life force inside is vapory and permeable, hovering around the edges of your life. And when you’re in this state of being, you lose touch. You no longer know what motivated you in the first place. You don’t recognize the person you envisioned yourself to be as the lead in your own life. But now, there are others who depend on you.

So how can you choose differently?

This requires a change in your beliefs about success norms. As a culture, everyone tries to copy and reengineer what we observe as success with others we admire. But that is often a focus on the past which had its own circumstances, rules, norms, and relationships. Comparing our lives, choices, relationships, successes to another can be a learning experience. But it can also be a slippery slope to devaluing the uniqueness of your own market, relationships, expertise and intuition. In being focused, you allow your own creativity and relationships develop new choices that enrich your life and fit your goals. two paths - mindfulness or multitasking

So where does mindfulness fit in this?

When you bring your full attention into the present moment, you become alert. You hold an inner focus – a fuller consciousness of what responses you can choose to challenges that are being presented in this moment. Or, you may begin to hear the sounds around you, take note of the day and weather, or the aches in your body. As you pay attention to your breath, bringing your awareness more into your body, you release a bit of what has been so important just the moment before. In that moment, a more fully conscious recognition of what is real and what is “drama” becomes possible. You begin to register what your arguments for and against the situation are as your values and beliefs arise. It may include an arising of your instincts or intuition, your “knowing” of what should happen next. You are able to listen more fully to your business partner. Or you find yourself enjoying your child’s recitation about the field trip experience today. In that moment, you can respond fully rather than react or push away these moments as distractions not on your checklist.

Mindfulness is a moment by moment practice

Creating a better future is dependent on the seeds you plant in the present moment. Planting seeds requires a full and complete acceptance of the present moment, one without judgement. Being present in this way helps you to have clarity about where to focus. And being nonjudgmental allows you to have compassion for yourself, and be more fully you in any moment. No more ghost, but rather a full present human. So here you are. Can you pause in your hurried, complicated, and entangled life to be present in this moment? You can begin by stopping and focusing on your breath. Where do you feel it in your body? In your nostrils? Can you just focus there for this moment now?

Mindfulness is the key to an enriching life and successful leadership.

If you need help learning how to use mindfulness to be more fully you, you can visit: http://www.freemindfulness.org/download for free audio recordings. Sometimes it’s helpful to work with a mindfulness coach – if that’s you, please reach out for a session at https://sarajanelowry.com/contact.html. I work with individuals and leaders to bring mindfulness into their lives and work.