Coaching Archives

Get off the freelancing hamster wheel-think like an entrepreneur

April 6, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry

Freelancing is harder than it looks. Conversations with freelancers these days always seem to begin with reports on what they’ve doing. And then, how busy they are, which triggers statements of overwhelm and fatigue. Yet when I ask them how they are feeling, people start talking about anxiety and even depression.

Freelancing produces anxiety for most freelancers I know.

With the freelancers I coach, the conversation almost always begins with a description of their “circle of anxiety.” It usually revolves around the feeling of needing to do more, and catastrophizing about what will ha Hamster on wheel with freelancing circle of anxiety ppen if they don’t get that next gig, or work 12 hour days. They compare themselves to hamsters on a wheel running faster and
forgetting to jump off to eat or sleep. And when they do, they’re snapping at their partners and kids, or interrupting date night to check emails. While your experience might not be quite this fevered, you may find that you’re unable to think creatively about solutions to improve your offerings.

Freelancing means you also have to manage your own business: marketing, web, bookings, and more. The challenge for freelancers is that your time = your money. Your work depends solely on you doing the work. Freelancers generally don’t have systems that work for them when they’re not working. Because your time equals your money, it can create a cap on much income you can create.

Freelancers need to make space in their calendar for thinking like an entrepreneur.

Being a freelancer can be risky. If you took yourself out of the business, would it still work? What happens when you’re sick?

freelancing word create Freelancers tend to think of their services very narrowly. And that thinking tends to narrow the type of work they take on. Entrepreneurial thinking means seeing opportunities to meet a customer need with a new service or product. One idea can change everything.

Many freelancers start with a side project of some sort as a source of extra income. Sometimes those side projects take on a life of their own. Set a goal to increase your virtual offerings or courses, hire other freelancers to deliver some of the work, become a multiple business owner, or develop unique product and service offerings. These can lead you toward being a freelancing business that can sustain you in lean times.

8 Steps to thinking like an entrepreneur

So, how can you manage your day to make time for building new creative endeavors that generate income?

Time blocks on your calendar weekly are a great tool. Get off the hamster wheel!
Get some mindfulness practice going in the first 10 minutes of the timeblock to release the anxiety thoughts and refocus on the brain into the moment. It’s important to think deeply about things and train the brain to work at a deeper level.
Make your own learning a priority. Learning new things generates new thoughts and skills.
Find people, other thinkers to introduce yourself too to create new sparks.
Make a list of possible solutions to client problems.
Think about what you are passionate about and jot some notes for exploration.
Stuck for ideas? Analyze other sucessful freelancing companies and try to figure out why what they did worked – not the usual stuff, but what was unusual about it?
Work with a coach who can help you remove limiting blocks that keep you from making the most of challenges and opportunities.

Finally, when you’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed, ask yourself whether it is related to a breakdown or a breakthrough? Start with bringing a reality check to your anxiety. Are you rationalizing feelings of fear rather than facing them, figuring out what is real and what you can let go? Focusing on the 20% of what you can really move along rather than the 80% other stuff is a good place to begin. Start looking at your fears and see what’s real and what’s not. Releasing leads to what’s on the otherside – your next creative money-maker.

When you mess up relationships with your board, staff and donors

March 22, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry

The ABC’s of what to do when you mess-up

As an Executive Director, you are bound to mess-up with your board or staff or even a donor at some point. Distractions, tensions, differences of opinion can lead you to moments that you’re not on top of your game.

I’ve been where you are as an executive director, and also I’ve coached leaders who have also struggled to figure out how to make things right again. What I’ve observed is from personal experience, and from other leaders who struggled with this, is that there a few standard steps to keep in mind that will help you begin to repair and restore those relationships:

Acknowledge: Take Responsibility

I think it goes without saying that this is key to ANY relationship snafu in your life, and it certainly goes a long way here. We may be tempted to hope they didn’t notice, or will let it pass, but they will respect you more if you step up and acknowledge how you’ve messed up or not taken action when you should have.

This step is absolutely key to rebuilding trust with your team, and with your donors.

Be Humble and Non-Defensive

Acknowledging your weaknesses, or that you might have hurt someone opens the door to trust. It shows your humanity rather than yo
ur ego. It helps people remember that they too have made mistakes and creates space for empathy. Importantly, it reminds us that we learn by making mistakes, and that we must be open to making mistakes in order to grow. Ultimately, it lets people know that you value them more than keeping your own ego intact.

Change Your Behavior

If you don’t look at how you messed up, you won’t be able to make good on your word to not let it happen again, consistently — that’s where your challenge lies. To do this, you may need to dig deep within yourself to make some necessary changes — to bring a stronger “you” to the relationship, or be more present in the moment, to make changes to your process. Consider the specifics of what happened and what you can do to prevent it in the future. Repeating the same behavior makes it more difficult for others to forgive you.

Don’t Make Excuses: No Ifs, Ands, or Buts in Owning the Mess-Up

While there may be legitimate reasons for why and how you messed up, in this moment we’re focused on getting away from the negative feelings or frustrations related to the mess-up, but it doesn’t let us create the space needed for repairing the relationship, and doing some listening from the other person on how it impacted them.

It doesn’t mean that you won’t have legitimate reasons for how or why it happened. But providing a rational explanation doesn’t fit in the space of emotion sometimes, and people have a hard time hearing it as anything other than an excuse. It’s really hard to sit with the feelings at this point.

Engage Emotionally with Yourself, and with Others

Take time to become aware and process some of your own feelings about the mess-up. You won’t be able to sit with another’s feelings until you do that. You will then be better able to express empathy and not be overwhelmed with your own experience. This step is critical to really building trust. And it’s the tough work that begins to let people move back toward you rather than away.

Forgive Yourself and Ask for Forgiveness

If you can forgive yourself, you will be better able to forgive others when they mess up. And you will show leadership in how your team, and your board members can recover from their own mistakes. Donors can re-engage at a new commitment if you go through the first 4 steps and be drawn into further support. Asking for forgiveness is an invitation to the other person to communicate and process what has happened. This is the beginning of the work to repair the relationship. And it’s a kind of contract to do better next time, and be accountable to the person to not mess up again.

Asking for forgiveness is an invitation to communicate and process what has happened. This begins the work to repair the relationship.

— SaraJaneLowry (@SaraJaneLowry) March 22, 2017

It takes tremendous self-awareness, and commitment to transforming relationships to do this work. I believe true leaders embrace the capacity to build genuine relationships that are even better after they’ve messed up. They do it by owning and respecting the power of relationships, knowing that they are the foundational support success. As a coach, I know how hard it can be to work through the steps. Call me if you want to talk.

Question: What has been your experience? Please leave a comment below.

Believing in YOURSELF leads to the future you desire

March 6, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry

A client recently received good news that a job doing what she loved was going to be hers. We discussed what had led her to this moment through our work. and she said that the work we had done around confidence is what had her to new opportunities and an exciting position. Believing in herself was the journey.

Step #1. You have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Believing in yourself is a choice.

Believing in yourself means taking action toward the goals you set for yourself and in taking action, you gain strength in believing they can be yours.

Step #2. Believing in yourself leads you to give more than what is expected. My client didn’t focus on whether she would be fairly compensated or recognized for more effort. As a result, she succeeded because she gave the people around her — her team, her customers, and her colleagues — more than was expected and, in return, has been rewarded with loyalty, referrals, opportunity, and money.

Taking action

Confidence is Believing in Yourself

Step #3. Successful people know that the world doesn’t pay you for what you know; it pays you for what you do. So, when she set goals for what she would deliver to her customers, she broke them down into small steps, and then she took action that affirmed her vision around the solution they needed from her — these action steps included believing in herself by getting out there and going for it.

Doubt and Fear

You might be surprised to know how many clients, colleagues, and leaders I talk with share that they are afraid of making a mistake, some have said that they feel like a fraud. some have doubts about whether the actions they are taking will succeed. Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries.

Step #4. They just don’t let these feelings stop them. Believing in yourself is a moment-to-moment mindfulness activity! And because of this belief we are willing to experiment, and try new things even when we feel uncertain.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If
you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” –Dale Carnegie

Undermining yourself

Do you find yourself saying things like: “I don’t believe this idea, this job, this situation will work for me?” Or, “I don’t believe in myself, my ideas, my ability to do this.”

Step #5. The biggest difference between successful people and unsuccessful ones (in business, and in life) is that successful people are determined to make the situation work for them rather than searching for reasons why a situation won’t work. Think of your mind as a suggestion machine, dedicated to keeping you safe, from making mistakes, from being embarrassed. It thinks it is protecting you from harm – something it was programmed to do to keep you safe from real danger. Most likely you will feel discomfort in pushing yourself past negative thoughts. Therefore, this is when you begin to test whether that is true and take small steps toward the goal you set for yourself. Your job is not to judge yourself, but to step forward with all you have within you in any given moment. Let the world choose.

Self-Confidence

Believing in yourself is the beginning of a journey to self-esteem and self-confidence. It’s a journey you can only take in your own mind, and through your own actions. The true joy of believing in yourself lies in unleashing your gifts and offering them to the world.

Self-confidence is a quality you can develop. Start this moment to believe in yourself and your future will thank you.

For more suggestions on believing in yourself as part of your own success, you may be interested in this article. Share your thoughts below on what has helped you believe in yourself.

Exploring Hidden Money Beliefs

February 16, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry

Exploring hidden money beliefs

I recently provided a workshop for solopreneurs with the theme of exploring hidden money beliefs. We talked through various scenarios like these:

I experienced as a child that money was difficult to come by and we never had enough.
“money is the root of all evil”
I can’t have money and be spiritual.
“Rich people are greedy and dishonest.”
If I want to be rich, I have to give up time with family and friends.
I don’t know how to handle a lot of money.
Money is dirty.

But there were two major “aha” moments for those in the group that surprised everyone. The biggest beliefs that held them back from healthy finances was:

having no financial goals, and assuming that money would just always flow to them.
using current funds to help others “because they had it” without registering they were giving away their future goals by not saving.

I found that freelancers are often focused on getting enough contracts or money to survive, not on getting enough to thrive! When we do what we love, we CAN get the money we need to thrive, and “show up more fully in our purpose” at the same time. The real hidden money beliefs were related to lack of belief in themselves as successful entrepreneurs. The world doesn’t pay you for what you know; it pays you for what you do to help them. When you focus on what you can do for others, your create an energy channel for abundance.

What’s your FOCUS?

Do you have a vision for your life? Does that include the financial side, and your ability to financial support the people and ideas you care about? Have you taken that dream, that vision, and quantified it into actual measurable goals? You must include financial goals in your goal setting. The key is breaking them down into small action steps, habits, and practices on a daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis. This is the moment where you strengthen your belief in yourself as capable of achieving them. Then, get out there and go for it! When you FOCUS and take action toward measurable goals, you trigger other universal energies that lead you toward success.

If you are procrastinating in making actual goals and outlining your steps, you are living the hidden money belief habit of not believing in yourself. Here is an opportunity to reach out to those around you, to your current clients, and express appreciation. Appreciation opens a energy channel that enlivens your beliefs, and strengthens powerful trust between yourself and others. It might also allow you to share your goals more fully with others which is another way that the universe can bring awareness and opportunity in supporting those goals.

Start with how you FEEL

Successful solopreneurs focus on long-term financial goals. Instead of just making money and sp nurturing new financial beliefs ending it, they take the time to create financial plans which enable them to reach long-term goals, and then they stick to those plans. If we can change our hidden money beliefs and adopt a financially successful mindset, sooner or later we will become financially successful in reality, and in the meantime, we will FEEL financially successful.

Remember, the clues to your success are always right in front of you. You just need to be aware of the opportunities and how to identify them. When you set financial goals and are working to manifest success, you will recognize those opportunities that will lead not just to manifesting your purpose, but to longer-term financial success.

To hold yourself accountable, write down and send me two new habits or goals you will tackle in overcoming your hidden beliefs around money. I’ll follow up with you to see how you’re staying on track with your new goals!