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When you mess up relationships with your board, staff and donors

March 22, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry Leave a Comment

The ABC’s of what to do when you mess-up

As an Executive Director, you are bound to mess-up with your board or staff or even a donor at some point. Distractions, tensions, differences of opinion can lead you to moments that you’re not on top of your game.

I’ve been where you are as an executive director, and also I’ve coached leaders who have also struggled to figure out how to make things right again. What I’ve observed is from personal experience, and from other leaders who struggled with this, is that there a few standard steps to keep in mind that will help you begin to repair and restore those relationships:

Acknowledge: Take Responsibility

I think it goes without saying that this is key to ANY relationship snafu in your life, and it certainly goes a long way here. We may be tempted to hope they didn’t notice, or will let it pass, but they will respect you more if you step up and acknowledge how you’ve messed up or not taken action when you should have.

This step is absolutely key to rebuilding trust with your team, and with your donors.

Be Humble and Non-Defensive

Acknowledging your weaknesses, or that you might have hurt someone opens the door to trust. It shows your humanity rather than yo
ur ego. It helps people remember that they too have made mistakes and creates space for empathy. Importantly, it reminds us that we learn by making mistakes, and that we must be open to making mistakes in order to grow. Ultimately, it lets people know that you value them more than keeping your own ego intact.

Change Your Behavior

If you don’t look at how you messed up, you won’t be able to make good on your word to not let it happen again, consistently — that’s where your challenge lies. To do this, you may need to dig deep within yourself to make some necessary changes — to bring a stronger “you” to the relationship, or be more present in the moment, to make changes to your process. Consider the specifics of what happened and what you can do to prevent it in the future. Repeating the same behavior makes it more difficult for others to forgive you.

Don’t Make Excuses: No Ifs, Ands, or Buts in Owning the Mess-Up

While there may be legitimate reasons for why and how you messed up, in this moment we’re focused on getting away from the negative feelings or frustrations related to the mess-up, but it doesn’t let us create the space needed for repairing the relationship, and doing some listening from the other person on how it impacted them.

It doesn’t mean that you won’t have legitimate reasons for how or why it happened. But providing a rational explanation doesn’t fit in the space of emotion sometimes, and people have a hard time hearing it as anything other than an excuse. It’s really hard to sit with the feelings at this point.

Engage Emotionally with Yourself, and with Others

Take time to become aware and process some of your own feelings about the mess-up. You won’t be able to sit with another’s feelings until you do that. You will then be better able to express empathy and not be overwhelmed with your own experience. This step is critical to really building trust. And it’s the tough work that begins to let people move back toward you rather than away.

Forgive Yourself and Ask for Forgiveness

If you can forgive yourself, you will be better able to forgive others when they mess up. And you will show leadership in how your team, and your board members can recover from their own mistakes. Donors can re-engage at a new commitment if you go through the first 4 steps and be drawn into further support. Asking for forgiveness is an invitation to the other person to communicate and process what has happened. This is the beginning of the work to repair the relationship. And it’s a kind of contract to do better next time, and be accountable to the person to not mess up again.

Asking for forgiveness is an invitation to communicate and process what has happened. This begins the work to repair the relationship.

— SaraJaneLowry (@SaraJaneLowry) March 22, 2017

It takes tremendous self-awareness, and commitment to transforming relationships to do this work. I believe true leaders embrace the capacity to build genuine relationships that are even better after they’ve messed up. They do it by owning and respecting the power of relationships, knowing that they are the foundational support success. As a coach, I know how hard it can be to work through the steps. Call me if you want to talk.

Question: What has been your experience? Please leave a comment below.

When your executive director resigns

March 19, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry Leave a Comment

When the executive director resigns, its usually a surprise. Every board president dreads the day when their beloved executive director hands them a resignation letter, right? Especially when you feel the organization is just hitting its stride, the rapport between the board and ED is strong, staff are staying in positions, and funders are engaged in your projects.

I’ve been there on both sides of the table: the one resigning, and the one receiving the letter. And I’m currently working with an organization going through exactly this scenario. While everyone is happy for the person leaving and the new opportunities that await, we have to admit that it hurts. When the good executive director resigns, it’s almost always a gift to the organization.

Yep, I said it. Resignations are a gift.

Resignations create a unique opportunity to evaluate where your organization is and its current needs, and if necessary, to redesign the position based on the needs of the team and organization it is today, not 2, 5, or 10 years ago. Within every resignation is a hidden opportunity for massive growth, but only if we pause long enough to seize the opportunity.

When your executive director resigns, here are 5 questions to turn a resignation into a powerful transformation:

How is the marketplace today different than when your executive director was hired?

Who you hired years ago was based on the organization’s needs and goals then. The person leaving might have had certain skills that were appropriate then. There have likely been many changes in the organization or in the funding community or community needs that have (or should have) had a big effect on what you need now. How much financial flexibility does your organization have?

Are there new trends? Policy changes? Possible collaborations or mergers? Reassess and reevaluate how the changes in mission and funding has shaped the current needs of your organization. What are the best practices in your field? Where are your opportunities to innovate? What new skills do you need to add to the organization to successfully serve?

Where is the organization in its lifecycle?

Stevens, Ph.D., Susan Kenny Nonprofit Lifecycles: Stage-Based Wisdom for Nonprofit Capacity, May 2002 — Organizational Life Cycle

Are you a new organization? Mature? In decline? The important question to ask here is: to what extent is your organization consistently delivering high quality programs? Keep that in mind as you think about filling the position. You need a new team member who can help you based on where you are TODAY…not where you were years ago. (Does your job description need a major overhaul?)

Is your board a peak-performing board?

If not, the resignation of your executive director can be overwhelming and stressful. Do you already have a strong strategic focus in board meetings? Do your board meetings spend a big chunk of time on strategy? Does it have a dashboard for measuring what’s working? If not, the board can change its culture by refocusing its attention there. Also, a peak performing board generally has performance goals for itself, including self-assessments. They provide many opportunities for building the skills, mission knowledge, and improved performance process should always rest in the board itself, not in staff or consultants. When your executive director resigns, boards often find new strength in their ability to lead.

What does the organization need as its next stretch?

You want someone who’s going to stretch you and the organization and take you to the next level. Your new hire should help you grow, not keep you stagnant. Develop a profile for what you need next in terms of skills and competencies to elevate your organization.

Should you reallocate funds to meet a different need?

Someone leaving creates a budget opportunity. In fact, it’s an opportunity to look at all your senior positions. Do you need to pursue funding to support getting a more experienced executive? Is there “mission creep” that the executive director led out of personal interest or skills that you would not want the new executive to lead? Consider whether you can/should redesign the position to help the team as a whole.

Ask your team: what are your greatest needs?

You’ve outlined the needs of the community you serve, but what about your team members? A resignation is a great opportunity to see what your team needs to help them perform their roles better. It’s also a good way to promote shared leadership and check your instincts.

Once you’ve worked through these five questions, you will be better able to develop the position description that will be precisely what you need for greatest benefit.

Consider bringing in an interim to help with the transition

The client I am working with is going with an interim director for a few months — a wise choice as they are in the midst of strategic planning. An experienced interim director keeps all the balls in the air. The right interim will be able to add some new networks and processes to the organization.

Despite the sting of the resignation, try to accept it as a unique opportunity, rather than a painful loss. What was working then won’t work to get you to the next level. Reevaluating your needs and hiring for what you need now is a hidden opportunity in a difficult situation. When the executive director resigns, the gift is unexpected.

If you want to chat about your current situation and explore ways to help you turn this tough time into a powerful transformation, I’m here for you!

Believing in YOURSELF leads to the future you desire

March 6, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry Leave a Comment

A client recently received good news that a job doing what she loved was going to be hers. We discussed what had led her to this moment through our work. and she said that the work we had done around confidence is what had her to new opportunities and an exciting position. Believing in herself was the journey.

Step #1. You have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Believing in yourself is a choice.

Believing in yourself means taking action toward the goals you set for yourself and in taking action, you gain strength in believing they can be yours.

Step #2. Believing in yourself leads you to give more than what is expected. My client didn’t focus on whether she would be fairly compensated or recognized for more effort. As a result, she succeeded because she gave the people around her — her team, her customers, and her colleagues — more than was expected and, in return, has been rewarded with loyalty, referrals, opportunity, and money.

Taking action

Confidence is Believing in Yourself

Step #3. Successful people know that the world doesn’t pay you for what you know; it pays you for what you do. So, when she set goals for what she would deliver to her customers, she broke them down into small steps, and then she took action that affirmed her vision around the solution they needed from her — these action steps included believing in herself by getting out there and going for it.

Doubt and Fear

You might be surprised to know how many clients, colleagues, and leaders I talk with share that they are afraid of making a mistake, some have said that they feel like a fraud. some have doubts about whether the actions they are taking will succeed. Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries.

Step #4. They just don’t let these feelings stop them. Believing in yourself is a moment-to-moment mindfulness activity! And because of this belief we are willing to experiment, and try new things even when we feel uncertain.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If
you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” –Dale Carnegie

Undermining yourself

Do you find yourself saying things like: “I don’t believe this idea, this job, this situation will work for me?” Or, “I don’t believe in myself, my ideas, my ability to do this.”

Step #5. The biggest difference between successful people and unsuccessful ones (in business, and in life) is that successful people are determined to make the situation work for them rather than searching for reasons why a situation won’t work. Think of your mind as a suggestion machine, dedicated to keeping you safe, from making mistakes, from being embarrassed. It thinks it is protecting you from harm – something it was programmed to do to keep you safe from real danger. Most likely you will feel discomfort in pushing yourself past negative thoughts. Therefore, this is when you begin to test whether that is true and take small steps toward the goal you set for yourself. Your job is not to judge yourself, but to step forward with all you have within you in any given moment. Let the world choose.

Self-Confidence

Believing in yourself is the beginning of a journey to self-esteem and self-confidence. It’s a journey you can only take in your own mind, and through your own actions. The true joy of believing in yourself lies in unleashing your gifts and offering them to the world.

Self-confidence is a quality you can develop. Start this moment to believe in yourself and your future will thank you.

For more suggestions on believing in yourself as part of your own success, you may be interested in this article. Share your thoughts below on what has helped you believe in yourself.

Exploring Hidden Money Beliefs

February 16, 2017 by Sara Jane Lowry Leave a Comment

Exploring hidden money beliefs

I recently provided a workshop for solopreneurs with the theme of exploring hidden money beliefs. We talked through various scenarios like these:

I experienced as a child that money was difficult to come by and we never had enough.
“money is the root of all evil”
I can’t have money and be spiritual.
“Rich people are greedy and dishonest.”
If I want to be rich, I have to give up time with family and friends.
I don’t know how to handle a lot of money.
Money is dirty.

But there were two major “aha” moments for those in the group that surprised everyone. The biggest beliefs that held them back from healthy finances was:

having no financial goals, and assuming that money would just always flow to them.
using current funds to help others “because they had it” without registering they were giving away their future goals by not saving.

I found that freelancers are often focused on getting enough contracts or money to survive, not on getting enough to thrive! When we do what we love, we CAN get the money we need to thrive, and “show up more fully in our purpose” at the same time. The real hidden money beliefs were related to lack of belief in themselves as successful entrepreneurs. The world doesn’t pay you for what you know; it pays you for what you do to help them. When you focus on what you can do for others, your create an energy channel for abundance.

What’s your FOCUS?

Do you have a vision for your life? Does that include the financial side, and your ability to financial support the people and ideas you care about? Have you taken that dream, that vision, and quantified it into actual measurable goals? You must include financial goals in your goal setting. The key is breaking them down into small action steps, habits, and practices on a daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis. This is the moment where you strengthen your belief in yourself as capable of achieving them. Then, get out there and go for it! When you FOCUS and take action toward measurable goals, you trigger other universal energies that lead you toward success.

If you are procrastinating in making actual goals and outlining your steps, you are living the hidden money belief habit of not believing in yourself. Here is an opportunity to reach out to those around you, to your current clients, and express appreciation. Appreciation opens a energy channel that enlivens your beliefs, and strengthens powerful trust between yourself and others. It might also allow you to share your goals more fully with others which is another way that the universe can bring awareness and opportunity in supporting those goals.

Start with how you FEEL

Successful solopreneurs focus on long-term financial goals. Instead of just making money and sp nurturing new financial beliefs ending it, they take the time to create financial plans which enable them to reach long-term goals, and then they stick to those plans. If we can change our hidden money beliefs and adopt a financially successful mindset, sooner or later we will become financially successful in reality, and in the meantime, we will FEEL financially successful.

Remember, the clues to your success are always right in front of you. You just need to be aware of the opportunities and how to identify them. When you set financial goals and are working to manifest success, you will recognize those opportunities that will lead not just to manifesting your purpose, but to longer-term financial success.

To hold yourself accountable, write down and send me two new habits or goals you will tackle in overcoming your hidden beliefs around money. I’ll follow up with you to see how you’re staying on track with your new goals!

Board’s Fundraising Role and Financial Risk

September 22, 2016 by Sara Jane Lowry Leave a Comment

I’m often asked about the Board’s fundraising role. I recently worked with an organization that didn’t receive a grant renewal of $100,000. The funder said their budget was too dependent on grant funding and thus, a risky investment. Their budget is over $700,000, and their individual donations are $8,000. Their 13 board members donate, but didn’t fundraise, write donors, or bring in any other donations. The board’s fundraising role had been neglected.

Another nonprofit I advised was informed by a funder that they were no longer going to fund them. Why? The funder said it looked like they were stable and didn’t need their funding anymore. So, they cut their grant from $300,000 to $o. They have a $1.2 million budget: 70% of which is in foundations and corporate sponsorships. The rest comes from government and rental income. Individual donations hovered around $20,000, and board fundraising efforts by 17 board members was a big fat $0. The board’s fundraising role was not a priority.

So . . . Imagine either of these scenarios at your organization.

Even with advance notice, could you suddenly raise $100,000 to meet your budgetary needs?

According to the Nonprofit Finance Fund’s 2015 State of the Sector report, 53% of nonprofits surveyed have 3 months or less of cash on hand to meet operations. Where do you fall? Are you one of those nonprofits so caught in the cul-de-sac of your existing funding patterns that you no longer have financial resilience? If so, the dangers and limits of this situation can hugely impact your mission. John Pratt’s income reliability matrix is a tool any organization can use to assess how much at-risk their organization is in terms of funding. And this is where the board’s fundraising role and income strategy focus comes in.

The board’s fundraising role

Your board’s fundraising role is to fundraising engine that, along with your chief fundraiser (executive director, or development director), can make the difference between stability or teetering in the winds of change. Analyzing your financial resilience as a strategic imperative is essential.

So, here’s what I recommend:

You need 100% buy-in from your board to make financial resilience a priority. It requires full board engagement. Most of all, they need to prioritize and take action. To map the right mix of income sources takes an understanding of the impact on the organization. How will the new activities impact human and financial resources? Do you have the capacity to do something different?
And, you need a team to serve as a task force to explore the potential of each strategy. What are the challenges, benchmarks, and methodology? Earned revenue, fee-for-service, social enterprise? Small to mid-size donations? Major gifts? They all take work, resources, and strategy.
Get the right people on board to make it happen! Many boards have 1/3 that actively engage, 1/3 that will do something if asked, and 1/3 that are dead weight. So, seriously consider who can help to provide experience, leadership and enjoy challenges. Even consider people who could only come on board for a year. To climb out of existing patterns, you need energy and commitment from everyone.
Prioritize. Where’s the biggest impact you can make with the resources you have? And grants? Yes, that’s still part of the mix. But maybe it’s a capacity-building grant to support the new path to sustainability.

Do it now!

It sounds like a long and drawn out process, right? It doesn’t have to be. That’s why you need a team/task force. And you may need someone internally or externally to drive the process and timeline. It will not be a long drawn out process if the team agrees to meet weekly for three months. Since this is a short-term initiative to create your financial resilience and sustainability plan, include a timeline and action steps for achievement. So, do it now — don’t wait until your organization is in crisis, scrambling to make up those lost dollars. And if you want help getting your plan together, let’s talk!